Your toddler 2-3 years

They have good physical skills but need you to keep them safe. You can help them develop by providing (safe) chances for them to play, while you supervise them.

Your child is learning about their feelings. Tantrums are very common in children this age. They happen when children are frustrated and stressed and can’t cope with it. They can also be triggered when children are tired and hungry or feel jealous, frightened or unhappy. Helping your child to name their emotions will help them to start to understand their feelings. 

The following provides information about the stages of your child’s development and some tips for what you can do to support your child. Your child may do some things earlier or later than described here. 

There is more detailed information about your child’s development in the ebook Every Child – Age 2 to Starting School. This also has information about eating well and snacking, vaccinations, screen time and speech, language and communication.

If you are worried about your child’s development, ask your GP or health visitor.

Between 2 to 3 years your child may:

• run, jump, climb and play on ride-on cars and trikes
• use longer sentences and ask questions
• use the words “why”, “no”, “me” and “mine” a lot
• value their ‘own’ things
• play more complex make-believe games, e.g. dressing up
• notice how other people feel
• get overwhelmed by their strong feelings and have trouble putting them into words
• get scared at loud noises, strange animals, and unfamiliar places
• interact with other children
• be able to do more things independently like wash hands, dress, undress

Tips to encourage and support your child's development 

• Give your child lots of cuddles, attention and praise. Give them individual attention whenever you can and praise them when they are doing something positive. Make sure you give your child lots of cuddles and attention when they are crying and upset too. It is important that your child understands that you are still there with them no matter what.
• Keep to the same routine as much as possible. It will help your child feel more secure if you have a routine. Feed, bath and put your child to bed at similar times each day. Find the routine that works for your family.
• Try to model the behaviour you want to see more of. For example, saying “please” and “thank you” when you talk to them and praising them when they share or help you. 
• Label your child’s feelings when you observe them, for example when you see that they are happy, sad, cross, disappointed or frustrated.  It will help them learn the word for that feeling or emotion, so they are able to learn to express how they feel later. 
• Try to stay calm during tantrums.  When you are calm, it helps your child to calm down too after the tantrum. 
• Ignore unwanted behaviour like stomping or whining and distract them with a new activity, toy or game. Give your child lots of praise and attention for positive behaviour.
• Reacting. Some children bite or hit when they are angry or frustrated. Be calm and don’t react or bite your child back. This will hurt them and give them the wrong message this behaviour is okay. 
• Learning to use the potty and toilet is something that most children do around this time. They learn at different speeds. Time and patience are key at this point. Don’t rush it. 
• Talk about what you are doing together. Ask your child for their thoughts and ideas. “What do you like in the picture?” “Which toy do you like playing with best?” Remember to give your child time to choose and use their words. Talk with Me has useful tips on supporting your child’s speech, language and communication skills.
• Encourage your child to feed and dress themselves. Your child will love helping you too, putting away clothes, sweeping up or wiping the table.
• Avoid too much technology such as television, tablets and smart phones. These can be entertaining for your child but limit their use. 
• Give simple choices. “Do you want an apple or a banana?”  “Do you want to wear your red or blue top?”
• Plan Ahead. When you go out and about have a few small toys, a drink and a healthy snack to hand.
• Read a book, sing a song or play games. Your child will love this special time with you, and it will help their development. If your child knows lots of songs and rhymes they will learn to read more easily. There are ideas for songs, books and play activities on Playful Childhoods, and  Words for Life. 
• Speak some words in Welsh as this can give them the best start to a bilingual life Cymraeg i Blant can help with words to use. You and your child could also sing along to a range of Welsh nursery rhymes and songs on Book Trust Cymru website (external link). These songs include many simple words making it easy for young children to absorb the Welsh language.   
• Play Give your child toys for stacking, things for pulling apart, blocks, simple jigsaws, toy cars, animals and dolls. Try to go to the park so your child can have fun on playground equipment. As your child explores, keep an eye on safety issues. 
• Teach your child about sharing. Don’t expect or force your child to share.  Help them to learn how it’s done.  “It’s Gethin’s turn now.  While you wait your turn you can play with your car”.
• What to do if you think your child is unwell. If they have a high temperature, they may have an illness. If you think there's something wrong, call NHS Wales on 111.
• If it is getting too much, make sure your child is in a safe place and then leave the room for just a moment until you feel calmer. Or you can ask a friend or family member to care for your child for a while so you can have time to feel better.

Most parents have times when they feel tested to their limits. Nobody is perfect. Everyone loses their cool occasionally and says things they are sorry for. It’s okay to say sorry to your child if you have been cross. Apologising to them helps them to see what they can do to make it right when they lose control of their emotions. 

Do not smack or physically punish your child. This is illegal in Wales. Children need to feel safe and secure in their family and their home in order for them to be at their best.

It’s OK to ask for help. If you are worried about feeling stressed, low or depressed talk to your health visitor or GP. 

In addition, you may find these helplines useful:

• Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L.): call on 0800 132 737 (24 hour service). This is a confidential helpline which offers emotional support on mental health and related matters.
• Samaritans Cymru: call on 116 123 (confidential 24 hour service). You can get in touch about anything that’s troubling you, no matter how large or small the issue.

To a 2 to 3 year old, the world is a big and complicated place. At this stage, they are trying to understand the 'rules' and how it all makes sense. You can help by giving them simple explanations of things.

For more information, see our Booklet on Understanding and Responding to Children’s Behaviour in the Early Years and the Big Book of Feelings.